Omg I survived!!! Gloria Gaynor was spot on ... 'I will survive, I will survive'. Fair enough she was on about about a relationship break up, but I like to think the same principle applies.. 

I should also add here that the kids too survived. I picked them up in the same condition I left them.. Tired but in one unbroken piece. They didn't run across tables, chairs and mountains to greet me like I semi expected (ungrateful sods). They looked up, acknowledged me, looked at their teacher to get the nod that all was good to leave and off we went, with ten thousand bags and some crap drawings. 

But we made it, first day back at work and we made it. I should be overjoyed really, but that is somewhat marred by the reality that we have to do it all again this week, then the next, then pretty much forever or until I marry a trillionaire, whichever comes first.. 

There were several highlights of the day. I'll share these. 

First of all, I got to wee all by myself. It was odd at first. No one shouted me up the stairs, at first I thought it was because there were no stairs, then I realised its because everyone was over the age of 3 and didn't need me desperately for anything that couldn't wait until after my wee.. The amount of Lego heads I've re-attached mid wee is actually worthy of a Guinness World Record. Not sure anyone had Lego today. That I saw anyway. 

Secondly, I only bloody went and sat down! Sat down! A lot of the day. Still can't quite believe they allow this at work, it's not allowed at home. Amazing. Still living the dream on this score over and over. Sat down. Wowzers.

Thirdly, I went for a run in my lunch break. Fair enough, on a treadmill, but this treadmill had a tv built into it and the bloody Loose Women were on!! So I still got to watch Loose Women!! At work! (sort of) I may be doing a shit load of treadmill running from now on. 

Fourthly, can you say fourthly?? Doesn't sound right. Anyway, 4 bullet points along, I went home as clean as I went to work! You heard me, I didn't get poo on my hands, no-one sicked milk on me, 

I didn't have to hold hands with anyone I bribed earlier with a chupa chup, and nor did I get a trail of snot up my sleeve. I'm even going to wear the work clothes a second time without washing! 

Pretty eventful stuff wouldn't you say. Well you wouldn't say that at all if you're reading this childless. But for those of you with a mini version of yourself, I think you will understand. 

Obviously, there's bad points like missing the kids, the day feeling like it had twice as many hours in it than usual, having to talk to people in a new tone and not being able to tell your boss that if he didn't sign your expenses sheet there and then you would make him sit on the step to have a little think about his actions for as many minutes as his age (he'd be there quite a while). 

Things like traffic build up on the way home factor in to become massive stress inducers and then having to decide which child you like the most, picking that one up first before the other 2 and then realising you best alternate

It every 3 days in the interests of parental fairness. you then get home and realise that your days work still isn't finished, in fact it's just beginning again and you have to get everything ready the night before all over again. 

It makes perfect sense why many parents become functioning alcoholics by the weekend and why everyone gets that Friday Feeling.. 

So, from now until roughly forever, my life in a nutshell, is going to be manic, a mass of multi tasking, lists, preparations, commuting, pre packed snacks, multi packs of wotsits and mayhem, topped off with a gallon of prosecco every weekend...

 Oh wait, I already do all that..